Drug testing

Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M.

A few months ago, I wrote about ingenious styles of customer service that every business should know about, mostly because their employees were inflicting them on their customers.

For instance, I warned about "in your face customer service" and "run for cover customer service", two equally effective opposites...like pouring too much sugar on your Cheerios one day, and pouring too much cayenne pepper on them the next.

I also warned about "do-it-yourself-extortion", "consistent filibuster customer service", "Invisible Man customer service", "present-at-attendance customer service", "customer service on steroids", and "satirical customer service".

You will have to read about these clever anti-sales pitches at:


http://www.thehappyguy.com/customer-service.html , because today I want to tell you about a 100% revolutionary approach to customer service that my wife and I discovered in a village high up in the mountains.

We were on our annual honeymoon, a three-day escape from parenthood to lick our wounds and give our tattered spirits a chance to recuperate.

To tell the truth, the weekend was more like a marriage encounter. It gave me a chance to find out just who is that strange woman passing me in the hallway at full throttle, pinching her nose and radiating the sweet smell of mushy diaper as she whooshes past. And it gave her the chance to discover the even stranger man who blows a muffled "Oof!" every time Little Lady invents a new "Hop On Pop" dance move.

Check-in at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere was 4:00 p.m., and it was made very clear that we would not be welcome until then. It's always an ominous sign when a resort begins by warning you when you will not be welcome, so we arrived at 4:00 p.m..

At 6:30 we stopped by the front desk on the way to dinner to request an additional pillow. Being in a sleep-related establishment in, we figured there would an off-chance that this request might be reasonable.

Wrong. The desk clerk could not provide a pillow because the laundry department closed at 4:00, and he had no way of accessing anything that was not right at the desk, he told us with a deadpan face.

"But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," I protested.

At this point, Deadpan Clerk pulled from under the desk a box big enough to hold almost half a pillow, and started rummaging helpfully through it to see if he could find a pillow. He could not, he announced.

In the hospitality business, folks should know how to treat people hospitably, or so I thought. If that were the case, I suppose I would never have written about Hotel Stella and the Wicked Witch of Lido ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/Hotel-Stella.html ) or about the paper-thin walls in many hotels these days ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/hotel-jokes.html ). OK, so the latter was largely fiction, a desperate search for a column topic, but the Hotel Stella torture story was 100% true.

Back at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere, Deadpan Clerk proceeded to assure us that we were not the only ones he mistreated. Phew, what a relief! In fact, just a few minutes earlier a man had come looking for an iron for his wife (probably for his wife's dress, as men rarely iron their wives, but Deadpan Clerk never clarified that).

He proudly related how he had explained to the man that irons were not available after 4:00 p.m., unless he had one in his magic little box.

"But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," the man protested.

He sent the man back to inform his wife that she will have to attend the dinner theatre in a dress looking like a prune (the dress, not the wife...at least, not that we were aware of).

NOTE: Although no missing persons report has been filed, we did not see the man again.

Deadpan Clerk was proudly informed us that he had sent the man away without an iron. Apparently we did not rank high enough to deserve even their very worst customer service.

I should end this story on a happy note. But how? I escaped alive, along with the strange woman I pass every day in the hallway. It turns out she is my wife, go figure. And a most compassionate wife, too...she even helped Deadpan Clerk escape alive, too, at least until I return to the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is a humor columnist:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more satirical articles and funny stories:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/humor articles.html

Read more personal growth articles:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

Read more travel articles:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/travel-articles.html

Info@thehappyguy.com

limousine chicago service
In The News:

Customer Service - Winning Customer Experiences

Winning Customer ExperiencesMuch research has been done on what the... Read More

Foolproof Customer Service Strategies (That Only A Fool Would Try!)

Ever notice how customer service varies from store to store?... Read More

Automating Your Help Desk Workflow

Do you know you can open, answer, close and report... Read More

How to Transform Your Voicemail into an Effective Medium of Communication

"Hi this is Randy. Leave me a message after the... Read More

Transforming Disgruntled Customers into Your Biggest Advocates

"I am writing to complain about the widget I bought... Read More

Caring for Your Customers

You probably think I am going to say something like,... Read More

How To Boost Your Bottom Line With Two Little Words

I hate to sound like one of those cheesy get-rich-quick... Read More

When a Customer Has Done Everything to Get Your Goat

You try to make your customers happy. You sincerely WANT... Read More

Dont Forget your Existing Clients

Quest for new clients shouldn't ignore those who pay the... Read More

At Your Service: The Ten Commandments of Great Customer Service!

Customer service is an integral part of our job and... Read More

One Critical Question to Ask Yourself Every Day

What happened to the old saying, the customer is always... Read More

Managing Your Business When One Client Takes Alot of Your Time

How often has your schedule been thrown out of whack... Read More

Become a Customer Enthusiasm-Guru!

One thing all successful small business owners have in common... Read More

At the Carwash; The Customer really is always Right

You have no doubt heard the saying that the customer... Read More

Can Three Words In Websters Dictionary Be The Key To Customer Loyalty?

Are you concerned about customer loyalty? Are your customers so... Read More

Passing the After-Sales Test

Some time ago a major UK food retailer decided to... Read More

Renewing Customer Loyalty

Every business loses customers, but not many do much about... Read More

Should I Have My Company Mystery Shopped?

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone... Read More

You Bever Know Who Youre Serving

You Never Know Who You're Serving when customers turn irate.I... Read More

Reducing Customer Resistance to Your Product or Service

Resistance has to do with putting up blocks that prevent... Read More

Writing The Book On Great Customer Service

Q: One of the big chain bookstores recently opened up... Read More

How to Easily Increase Your Profits

Do you remember the last time you went into a... Read More

Hit The Jackpot With Customer Complaints

Our most powerful instinct is to avoid customer complaints, but... Read More

Learn to Anticipate Your Customers Needs

This morning I was having breakfast with my good friend... Read More

All of the World of Business Is a Stage

One of the basics of acting taught to me in... Read More

induction cobra head led retrofit kit Pete's produce ..