Drug testing

Successful Fishing: The Mysterious e Factor.....

Successful Fishing: The mysterious "e" Factor.

There has always been a strange, and to this day, unsolved mysterious theory in the fishing world.

My wife knows of this theory and she thinks I am crazy, paranoid, and maybe even a little hard up.

The theory is based on secrets that have been held by a small but priveleged group of men, who have sworn secrecy and taken blood oaths, in order to keep the modern societies from crumbling.

I reveal this secret at great peril and with no apparent regard to the ramifications that may take place, out of an act of final frustration.

I am tired of getting outfished by my wife!!

I see you there, looking puzzled and confused--but let me explain.

I first started noticing, what I will call the "e" factor-- back in 1976.

Fishing for Brown trout in the Eastern Sierras of California, I always did relatively well, catching numerous 19 and 20 inch fish. My, then girlfriend and soon to be wife, would join me on fishing/camping trips and always seemed content to let her man "bring home the bacon". I would arrive back at fish camp and proudly display to her my ability to be a "provider", while she in turn would humor me with her admiration. Occasionally, she would tire of the camping scene and would ask to join me in the hunt for Browns. Confidence in tack and bolstered by her admiration, I would always say sure--figuring she wanted to witness "her man" in action.

I would catch a few fish and she would let me bait the hook and give her pointers. "Just throw it upstream a little bit, let it drift right in there---yeah there ya go- give it a little slack--let him take it innnn.... NOW SET THE HOOK!!"

Oh, she would act excited and further bolster my confidence. Now I was also a great guide and instructor!!

Then I would go back to fishing, kind of tap her on the head and say: "There, just keep doing that." She would fawn over me and I would strut cocksure back to my fishing hole. Pretty soon she would be squealing --"OOH I have another one!"

I would walk over and remove the fish, and before I could wipe my hands off she would be back in the water,and catching more fish. I am sure you can understand that this would get old after awhile....so I would then instruct her on the removal of the fish, so I could go back to "providing".

The "e" factor would now mysteriously appear.

Nada, nothing, kotonashi!! Not even a bite--for me that is. Meanwhile, the "squealfest" continued over on the little misses pole.

I would put special twists in the bait, concentrate like David Copperfield trying to bend a spoon, and toss in to the very spot I instructed her to fish in, and the results would be the same.

She would squeal and I would give her an insincere "atta girl". Of course pretty soon she would tire of catching fish, give me a bouyant- practically flipant- "Oh, I'm getting tired," and bound off back to camp leaving me to clean HER fish and haul them back to camp. I would seethe and "bear down", determined to at least catch a bigger fish--but after awhile- I would be so wound up from failure, that I would steam back to camp completely demoralized.

My" girl", would then go into damage control, and work to bring my confidence level back up, with the usual " I was soooo lucky, I've never caught fish like that before..."

Right.

Since that time, the same cause and effect has occured too many times to be a coincidence. I fish, she comes along and outfishes me.

AND--It was not just with her. If I happened to be fishing in the same boat or locale with the female species present, I would always get outfished. It got to the point where if I saw a woman or if my wife was fishing, I just resigned myself to playing cribbage or "guiding"--so to speak.

After twenty years or so of this trend,and after talking to most other fishermen, I realized this was not just happening to me. So, like unlocking the DaVinci code and after examination of years of evidence I am here to reveal the secret.

Estrogen.

Yes, the "e" factor, is the female hormone--estrogen.

What else could it be??

For centuries, wise men have known this and kept it a well guarded secret. Women will always outfish men....because of the"e" factor.You can change sides in a boat, throw your fly or bait into the same water, or sabotage her equipment--the results will always be the same, women will outfish men. Unless she fakes it. Of course a woman would never do that!!

Right.

Why do fish react to the "e" factor?

I have no idea. But some tiny little estrogen tricle charge, carries through a fishing rod,down the line and past the hook, sending some sort of message to the underwater world that makes it impossible for a fish to resist. Estrogen should be outlawed as an unfair fish attractant!!

Paranoid---my eye!!

So there you have it. What happens next is up to society.

Women may take to the sea in boats named after their men-- left tearfully at the dock.

While we men folk prepare the evening fare and tidy camp--women could be out until dark wrestling large salmonids, and complaining of the loss of good daylight.

While we complain about our spouses at "Bunco night", our ladies will be tying and trying new combinations of chenille and fur!!

...And we're not talking fashionable clothing here!!

We can't even count on menopause to level the fishing playing field anymore.Women are having estrogen replacement therapy--under the guise of better health-- to keep their fish catching superiority from diminishing!!

I know I have been irresponsible here, and like "Deep Throat" from the watergate era, may not realize the way history has been altered, but the frustration was just to great.

Why speak now??

Well... the increase in the number of women that are taking up fly fishing, and fishing in general, is getting astronomical and growing at an alarming rate. So, the only hope is to make an appeal to the more sensitive side of the female species, and ask that they back down. They need to understand that they have an unfair advantage, in the "e" factor, and we men have sooo little left....please let us have the fish!!!!

That's it...that's my appeal, and I can only hope that women everywhere will respond positively to this cry for help, and we men can brim confidently once more.

Until then, I have begun estrogen replacement therapy myself.... I'll be damned if I will continue to be outfished by my wife!!

A guys got to do, what a guys got to do....

A.J. Klott Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack" peddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is due out in December of 2005. If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at: http://www.twoguyswithflys.com

limousine chicago service
In The News:

Make Small Fortune In The Fishing Industry

Make Small Fortune In Fishing Industry.......now there is a headline... Read More

Introduction to Lake Fly Fishing Techniques

Often lake fish will gather in schools and cruise around... Read More

Cabo Sport Fishing is Like a Box of Chocolates

As Forrest Gump would say, you never know what you're... Read More

10 Fishing Gems

Fishing Gem #1 ? When Is Best?If you are in... Read More

The Old Heddon Meadow Mouse

Have you ever fished with a Heddon Meadow Mouse? How... Read More

The Advantages of Underwater Fishing Cameras

Want to see what's really going on under the water... Read More

Are You Interested in Alaska Trout Fishing?

For those of you that don't know, Alaska trout fishing... Read More

Trout Species ? Rainbow Trout and Brown Trout

Rainbow Trout: Few freshwater fish can match the fighting spirit... Read More

How Do You Bring The Freshest Fish to The Table?

Fish is one of earth's natural wonders and has satisfied... Read More

Swordfish and Swordfishing

Generally an oceanic species, the swordfish is primarily a midwater... Read More

Techniques of Wet Fly Fishing

Many anglers who are new to fly fishing consider dry... Read More

Do You Know How to Fillet a Fish?

Finally you've caught the perfect fish. Now, do you know... Read More

Interesting Features of The Speckled Trout

For those who are interested in speckled trout, you will... Read More

How To Choose the Right Fly Line Weight

Written on the rod blank or handle is a code... Read More

6 Things You Must Do If You Want To Have The Secret To Catching More Trout

It has always been my private conviction that any man... Read More

Back To Fish School....Baitfish 101

Class Is In Session.... Baitfish 101Okay.So you would think that... Read More

Fly Fishing Rods ? Getting The Bends

Picking a fly fishing rod is a tricky endeavor. Do... Read More

Selecting the Right Tackle

One of the most important things to consider when fly... Read More

The Major Benefit Of Night Fishing

Number One Benefit to Night FishingI think the best thing... Read More

The Challenge of Brown Trout Fishing

Brown trout fishing can prove very challenging. This is due... Read More

Care And Repair Of Fishing Lures

Making fishing lures may be easy for the seasoned do-it-yourself... Read More

Dry Fly Techniques

Dry fly angling is at the top of any fly... Read More

Fort Lauderdale Sport Fishing Charters - The Perfect Way To Get Away

Whether it's the peaceful and serene beauty of being on... Read More

Fly Casting - the Overhead Cast

The overhead cast is the most basic fly cast. Learn... Read More

Update Alaska: News From The Front

Stopped into The Fishin' Hole the other day, which happens... Read More

led lighting cost cfl bulbs energy savings Pete's produce ..