Drug testing

One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief

All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes about the task of grieving in our own distinct way.

When we lose a loved one the grief path is long and complicated. We feel so many different emotions, sadness, abandonment, anger; it seems we will never be normal again.

When I lost my son and my husband within the same year, I was devastated. My son died in April of that year and my husband and I had him cremated. We worried about what to do with the cremains.

One night as I pondered what had made my son happy in life, I remembered his love of Mickey Mouse. Even as an adult, he had loved Mickey. I knew what to do with his ashes then. I bought a plush Mickey Mouse doll and I put his ashes inside. I kept the doll close and was able to pick it up and hug it when I thought of my son. It was a great comfort.

When my husband died 7 months later, he also was cremated. This time I knew exactly what to do with his ashes. He had given me a Teddy Bear many years previously that I loved. Of course, I put his ashes in the Teddy Bear. Again, I could hold the bear when I thought of my husband. I could sob into its soft fur; I could hug it and feel as if I was being hugged. That Teddy Bear with my husband's ashes saved my sanity many a night, as I cried myself to sleep.

The first summer after the deaths of my son and husband, my daughter, granddaughter and I rented a beach home for a week. As we were packing to go, my daughter asked if I were bringing Fred (the bear with my husband's ashes) I said I hadn't thought of it. She immediately said "But Fred loved the ocean, it can't be a family vacation without him" My granddaughter chimed in " Uncle Tom didn't like the ocean, but can he come and stay in the house?" So the five of us took off for the beach, my daughter, my granddaughter, my deceased husband and son and me. It was a wonderfully therapeutic vacation for all of us.

Not only have other family members and I had the consolation of having our loved ones near, but also they have not been forgotten. It has been seven years and they are still a part of the family life.

This approach to grieving is not for everyone. The important thing to remember is that grief is individual and must be handled individually. What is good for me might not work for you, but find something that does work for you. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. If you know your loved one would be okay with your special path of grieving, then feel good about it and do it.

There are books and magazine articles to help and I suggest you read as many as possible. Just having the goal of reading something takes some of the pain away for a short time.

Hospice has some wonderful programs. Joining one of their Bereavement Groups can be helpful on the road to recovery.

Contacting a Life Coach, who specializes in transition, grief and change, can help enormously when you need the support, inspiration and motivation to move forward in transition.

(c) 2002 Beth Densmore

About the Author

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

Authors Note

Feel free to use this article for your web site or e-zine as long as it remains unaltered (including the "about the author" info), and you send a copy of your reprint to beth@newfocuscoaching.com.

limousine chicago service
In The News:

Grief Masks

October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me... Read More

Who has the Worst Pain

During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved... Read More

Dying at Home ? A Precious Gift

Few of us care to think about the inevitability of... Read More

How Can I Transform Tragedy?

There is only one place where tragedy occurs, and that... Read More

Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital

Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds... Read More

How Long Does It Take to Mend a Broken Heart?

Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should... Read More

Signs After Suicide: The Red Butterfly

Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More

Whats It All About?

For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More

Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples

You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples... Read More

The Creative Side of Healing

One of the areas where I seem to be placing... Read More

Sympathy Messages

The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult... Read More

Angel of Comfort... The Story

I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while... Read More

Graceful Grief: Angelic Help is on the Way!

I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More

Pope John Paul II

WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am... Read More

Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief

The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states... Read More

Handicapped From Suicide

I am 23 years old. I come from a large... Read More

What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?

When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More

Moving Beyond Grief and Loss

In my work as a coach and therapist, I have... Read More

Online Monument ? An Ever-lasting Tribute to Your Departed Loved Ones

Memories are never to be buried along with the loss... Read More

Suicide Survivor

Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death... Read More

Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide

Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More

Tenderizing

Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate... Read More

Loss Involves Change - The Transformative Power of Loss and Change

There are many experiences in life, which remind us that... Read More

When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out

Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided... Read More

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More

street light materials white led light Pete's produce ..